Jeez Louise! I was suppose to be here way more often than this. I have noticed that it has been longer than a year since I’ve written. I did wanted to throw here all my neat poems but then I got shy and overwhelmed and said fuck it….so I guess I’ll wait a little longer till my inner shy, scared little girl, that likes to hide in corners and peek from underneath her lashes as her eyes look to the ground says “I’m ready…”.
One day she will look up fiercely, wildly, eyes wide and immediately see that she has no more fucks to give and simply dump all the poems in here and say “Here you go! I love it and don’t care if you do”
Rejection….she’s such a bitch! A Bitch with stiletto heels (I want to borrow) with her nose turned up completely unaware that there are others out there who are just as worthy or more than her. Rejection always has a way to portray herself way more important than what she really is. Like a mean girl whispering in your ear “they’ll hate it” “it sucks” “You might just want to give up”.
One of these days I’m going to break that Bitch’s nose and make it bleed and say “I can’t hear you anymore!” and go to my happy, confident self and live there with my eyes wide open and my lips with a permanent smile on my face. I want that smile to attract the sun everyday and every where I go. When is night, to attract the moon that will carve the most beautiful and romantic shadows on my face. So I can say “cheeks on fleek!”
One day I will get there…..
Anywho…Why do I keep picking the wrong guys? I’ve read five self-help books on the subject and I know exactly what the red flags are. This is why I know my latest minion, Mr. J is once again another Mr. Wrong. Was it something I wrote on my profile to attract the wrong guy? Am I turning down the good ones and dating the wrong ones? Cause after all habits are hard to break. Maybe I’m just wired to be attracted to douche bags, maybe it is just the DB’s that get my heart raising, my blood flowing and my womanly juices oozing<—–sorry so descriptive…please no pervy comments out of this one.
This dilemma still tickles my brain. Am I destined for a life of solitude and endless dates with the Mr. Wrongs of this world?