Category Archives: Thinking out Loud

The Audacity of Hate

Screen Shot 2019-01-28 at 11.07.39 AM
From CBS News

This blows my mind! For a well-respected journalist to inform others not on facts but on a bias opinion is nothing short of ignorant. No, I don’t believe his apology. Do you?
I’ll tell you why. At that moment when he opened his mouth, he made a conscious decision to let the prejudice that he held for the Hispanic community spew out, like venom from a serpent when it bites. He’s not sorry for what he said. As a matter of fact, he totally believes it and probably thinks we just got offended for no reason. Let me tell you why because it’s not true.
I know first hand the sacrifice that it takes to come to a foreign land, learn a new language, and start over. It is not easy for anyone involved, but with the grace of our ancestors and love for our families, we make it happen.

The blaring of a Univision telenovela can often be heard in the background of a Hispanic home. This does not make us less American. The smell of spices wafts for miles outside our homes, alerting everyone that a meal is being cooked. This does not make us less American. We pray to our Santitos, while rapidly turning beads around our fingers as we whisper a rosary. This does not make us less American. The blare of Merengue, Salsa, Cumbia, Corridos could be heard from blocks away as we celebrate numerous special events. This does not make us less American. Coming here at an older age may give some of us a thick accent that may be hard to understand. This does not make us less American. The color of our skin, eyes, and hair varies as much as the color spectrum of a kaleidoscope. This does not make us less American. Our passion much like our voices has the tendency to carry itself in high decibels with a lot of emotions. This does not make us less American. We love to display vibrant colors in our arts, our dress, our hairs. Just a statement piece, I sometimes say. This does not make us less American. Our children rise through at times difficult school systems, all the while learning English. This does not make us less American. Our children do better than us because it is our goal for them to surpass us. They are graduating colleges, acquiring vocational training, opening businesses, and starting families amongst other things. They know that a great sacrifice was made for them and they refuse to let it go to waste. They are passing down traditions and starting some of their own. They are part of the melting pot that makes America a diverse place that enjoys the culture and unity of many people.

Social Media Anxiety

“Social media gives me anxiety”- was a comment that I read on Instagram. Why do we compare ourselves to others? Why do we compare ourselves to complete strangers on the Internet? Why do we put so much energy on an overly formatted image?
There are people out there that feel depressed or anxious when utilizing social media. Time and time again someone, somewhere in the world will pick up their phone, tablet or whatever electronic device to browse through a social media site. They will look at the pretty pictures, perfect family, incredible bodies, outfits, cars, houses and wish that it was them. They will look away from the bright screen and look around to see something that is drastically different from what they saw and the feeling of anxiety will kick in.

To covet means to yearn to possess something that belongs to someone else. This emotion goes hand in hand with envy. Both, to covet and envy are heavy feelings that can drag an individual down and push the person to focus on things that are beyond their grasps, which can cause frustration, anger, sadness and even depression.

What most fail to realize is that what is being posted is a highly formatted image of a small snippet of someone’s life. Sometimes the picture is taken 80+ times, to get the right angle, the proper lighting and is still filtered even more! Why compare your whole life to a fragment of someone’s life? I’ve seen friends and family use props (other’s cars, bags, watches) to make it seem like it’s theirs in IG.

Screen Shot 2018-05-15 at 1.15.00 PM

#moneybaggyo #moneyman #moneymoneymoney is just three of a good amount of money hashtags floating around IG.  I bet you some of those bills are not his or maybe there are a whole bunch of dollars.  Monopoly money?

I for one, only share positive things on Facebook: accomplishments, happy photos, vacations, funny things, holidays and use it mainly to connect with family and friends. I use Instagram for pretty images, mostly for outings and vacations or when I’m having a good outfit day.
I reframe from using it to air out personal problems, talk about work, or type passive aggressive things to someone. All these things I prefer to do in person and in a private setting not in front of the whole digital world to see. So you see, my entire life is not displayed for the world to see. There are a ton of crappy moments that will not be posted.

I’m telling you not everything is unicorns and rainbows. Even if that is all that is shown, I bet money that there are a few devils and skeletons hiding if you just peel the layers. I keep mines in my hallway closet, BTW.

I suggest that before you feel depressed and anxious over someone’s social media post, feel grateful for your life; your messy, chaotic, maybe boring life. It’s ok to have the body that you have, the clothes that you have, the car that you have. Be grateful and honored to be living YOUR life. By all means, if you want to improve it, then get after it and chase YOUR goals. But remember your life will never look like someone else’s because at the end of the day it’s YOURS. Live it!

What I learned today…

I know that Google has all the answers, but never in my life have I Googled chicken fried steak.  I merely assumed that it was chicken.  Having a conversation with my hubs, talking about what I wanted to eat, I mentioned my desire of chicken fried steak because I did not feel like eating red meat.  After I finished my statement, he laughed, and laughed, and laughed even harder.  Not one to like to be left out of a joke, I asked: “What’s so funny?”.  He simply stated, “it’s a steak baby, chicken fried steak, it’s a steak” with tears rolling down his eyes.

Boom! My world exploded around me.  The fabric of my reality had been ripped and the world that I knew disseminated into small pieces around me.  Only dust showered me, all around me, falling to the ground.  What other things have I’ve been lied about?!- I thought.  How many more lies were there to be discovered?

As my husband continued to laugh with gusto, all I could do was shake my head and try to look back at all the other things I believed to be true, that were not.

What things have shattered your belief system?

Karma is a B****

I purposefully don’t use my change so that when I see people in the streets asking for a bit of money, I have something readily available to give.  Sometimes my passenger or companion will tell me how wrong it is to do this because the person getting the money will turn around and use it for drugs.  I always reply back that if its so, karma will take care of them.  My intention is to help, and if they use it for anything else, the repercussions will fall on them, not me.

What is karma? To put it plainly is the reciprocation of energy.  To visualize it, one will have to imagine playing with a paddle ball.  This is the toy that is made of a wood or plastic paddle and had a small rubber ball attached to it.  The person will move the paddle and hit the ball, while the elastic will bring the ball back to the paddle.  Karma is that elastic; that magical string that always brings the ball back to be hit by the paddle.

 

Paddle Ball
Paddle Ball, an old school toy that provided hours of low-tech fun.

 

I could also explain it by using the law of cause and effect.  For every action, there’s a reaction.  Sometimes the reaction is equal to the action. Seldom is the opposite.  But, once again the string will ensure that the ball comes back.  I regress-sometimes it does not come back to the paddle.  When our movement or aiming is off, it comes back and hits us in the eye.  That’s karma for you!

The bible mentions karma; it does not use the word.  Instead, it is written, “You will reap what you sow” in Galatians 6:7. That is karma.  How about those naughty naked kids?  Adam and Eve?  They certainly reaped what they sowed.  They took the apple after being told not to, and got kicked out of the party!  Talk about major party foul.

Where else do we hear about karma?- Duh!  The golden rule!  What is it that they teach small children and even some self-centered adults?  “Treat others as you would like to be treated.”  Boom! (drops the mic) Someone long ago thought of this: if I treat others well, I am bound to be treated the same way.

How about in songs? What goes around comes around?  Didn’t Justin Timberlake write that song when he found out Britney Spears was cheating on him?!  He knew that karma would eventually find her.  Anyone remembers her psychotic breakdown and terrible love life after that?  Shit if that’s not karma, I don’t know what is.

That’s the thing with karma, is like a boomerang that always comes back to the person who threw it.  You give out shit; you get shit.  You give love; you get love.

Has anyone seen the movie pay it forward?  I suggest you see it.  This movie encapsulates the act of repaying a good deed to someone else.  Therefore pushing good karma far and wide.  Sometimes when I hear karma being described, it usually entails a harmful act that will come back to the person.  Hence why people say ‘karma is a bitch”.  I don’t think karma is a bitch; I think karma is this obnoxious brat that parrots everything you do- for good or bad actions.

In Hinduism, karma is viewed as the effects of past actions.  They see time and the soul to be continuous; never-ending.  Karma and reincarnation work hand in hand in Hinduism.  A soul will work through their karma for however long necessary till they reach perfection and don’t have the need to be born again.  In Hinduism, they believe that karma can come all the way from the past and bite you in the ass in the present or future. Karma is very patient.   So you better do the right thing, or you will be paying for it when you least expected.

 

 

 

 

 

Freedom of Speech

Why do people think it’s okay to be nasty just because they are being honest?

“I’m just being honest though” is the usual reply

“yes, Sheryl but you are also being nasty for no reason”

 

Or they will defend their views by putting yours down.  This often comes when people talk about religion.  They will put another one down in order to show that theirs is ‘better’.

“Catholics worship Mary, she was no virgin”

“First of all, Paul do your research she is honored because she’s the mother of Jesus. Sorry I can’t provide you with a virgin authenticity certificate”

 

Or they will belittle you for having a different view than them.

“Trans people are confused they don’t deserve any rights, you are stupid for supporting that shit”

“I was taught to love and respect all, even your bigot self, George”

 

I’m astounded when I hear it or when someone approaches me with this shit.  I feel like we are in a world big enough where all of our opinions can fit.  If you want to be next to like-minded individuals then be with them and sing kumbaya while fist bumping and agreeing on everything.  But if you find yourself amongst individuals who don’t share your point of view, share it in a respectful manner.  Don’t push it down someone’s throat like a car sales man trying to make a quota.  Don’t insult others who disagree.  Most importantly, if you don’t have nothing nice to say, then keep that shit to yourself.  Take a speech class or something to help you learn how to express yourself effectively and then come back to it.

I’m exhausted with these Internet Ninjas, typing on their keyboard going from forum to forum insulting others just because they think differently.  NEWSFLASH, we are all different!  Our anatomies are so alike but our minds are not.  There is a world in each of our brains.  Mine have a lot of unicorns and rainbows, yours may not.  Or maybe yours do but your unicorns look different than mine.  Does that mean you get to trash my unicorns because they are purple as opposed to pink, NO-DA FUCK-NO Ginna!  All you get to say is “ok, mine are pink” and move the fuck on.

Get over your sense of entitlement, and self-centeredness as if your opinion, is the only one that counts, the only right one, the only that matters.  That’s so fucking lame.

I’m stepping down the podium now, thank you for reading.  Stay nice peoples.

Why Having Girlfriends Matter So Much

At Mystic Grape sans Jade. From left to right: me, Francis, Michaela, Denize

Women empowering women, girl tribe, success group, you name it they are all out there and for good reason; a girl needs another girl to relate to.  In my case, I have four ladies that I can completely relate to.

Meet Michaela, the mean one with the softest of hearts that will stalk your ex with the proficiency of a seasoned P.I.
Jade gets off work in time for face mask time
Meet Denize, the hyper one, she’s like the energizer bunny; goes on and on and on.  Have a work out with her; I dare you…double dog dare you.
Meet Francis, the rude New Yorker who calls it like is and is the hostess with the mostest.  I can always rely on her for honest advice.
Meet Jade, the cool Californian. Nothing seems to set her off unless that is she spots someone doing the wrong thing and then that cool interior gets ruffled a bit…I mean a
lot.
All these ladies make up my circle of girlfriends.  They are similar enough to me to share common ground and different enough to help me grow and learn from them.
I saw a video from the AARP about old folks, and they said that once someone stops learning and growing mentally then, that’s when they can be considered old.  With these ladies, I will be forever young!
 
How did we meet?  
 
We asked ourselves this at our recent sleepover party (yes we do those as grownups).  In the beginning, each of us had different perceptions of the other, and if we would have allowed those perceptions to become true, I must say we would have never gotten this close.  Our love of fitness changed those opinions.  There is something about a grueling one-hour fitness session that makes everyone come together while being in physical pain.
Through those sessions, we realized that we were more similar than different and that we actually liked one another!  Now we even use the ‘L’ word…cue the heart eyes emoji.
It all started with a few lunches, then brunches and late night get together, and now we are sleeping in each other’s houses, telling each other our deepest darkest secrets and farting.  That last one is when you know that your relationship has transcended to a higher level: Super comfortable zone!
In a world that is so frantic, stressful with so many fast-moving pieces, having my girls around me, make me stable.  Is as if the world stands still when we are together, talking, laughing, or sometimes crying.  They have become my sounding board for ideas, my psychiatrist for when I need to vent, my life and style coach, and most recently my hair remover specialist (thanks, Francis and Denize).  
Because they love me, Francis and Denize taking
care of my ingrown’s while Jade looks on
I don’t mind having the girls over my less-than-clean place because I know they will just brush off the pet hair from the couch, open the wine bottle and turn on the TV, no judgment no questions.  For someone who doesn’t get too close to others and has a hard time connecting, these fabulous ladies are a blessing.  
I think every girl should have a girlfriend or two or three or four in their life who can encourage, mentor, and advice them.  A friend who is more like a sister, who loves them unconditionally, supports them and gives candid words of wisdom.  There is an adage or more like a meme that says “Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves,” this is so true for the girls and me; we chose each other.  Now go out there and find your soul sisters!