I made the terrible mistake of losing my virginity to Mr. Micro-Peen. The thing was that having no experience I did not know that his size was abnormally small, I thought it was normal. Till I met the other one…but that’s another blog post.
The thing with Mr. Micro-Peen was that he was possessive and controlling, on top of having a micro-peen. Again being inexperienced and naive I let him control me. He told me what to wear, who I could be friends with and I needed to tell him of all my whereabouts and movements. In the back of my mind, I knew all along that this was not right, but I went right along with it because I loved him…or I thought I did.
One day my eyes were open wide when Ms. Plus-Size a friend of a friend came to see me with a guilty look on her face. I knew something was wrong, and I asked her what’s going on. I thought for sure she was going to off-load some drama on me. Little did I know that the drama would involve me.
Ms. Plus-Size told me that she had also been seeing Mr. Micro-Peen. My stomach flipped, then I started laughing maniacally and grabbed her by the hand to discuss in one of the empty corners of the cafeteria. I didn’t want my drama to play out for the amusement of everyone in the cafeteria.
Although my heart was breaking I was also thoroughly amused by this recent turn of event, because I wondered who else was putting up with my Prince Charming. So we started talking and shared stories of our boyfriend. At the end of our conversation, we concluded that surely enough we were seeing the same guy. The determinant factor happened when we compared penis stories. When I asked Ms. Plus-Size to demonstrate the size of his penis, she used half of her pinky as a comparison. It was right then and there that I had no doubt that she was telling the truth.
At the end of our heart to heart talk, we both laughed at the predicament that we had found ourselves in and preceded to make a plan to confront Mr. Micro-Peen.
The face on Mr. Micro-Peen when we walked in together to a college event he was attending was precious! His mouth dropped, and his eyes bugged out, and I had the biggest smile on my face. ‘Gotcha!’ I thought.
After a few stuttering starts, he was able to get his wits about him and proceeded to tell us that he did not care about Ms. Plus-size and that, he made a mistake. His unkind words to her upset me to the core, and I knew right away that although I had my puppy love feelings going on for him, that he was not the man for me and never will be.
In a few days after that, he won me over with several gifts and sweet empty words. I never heard again from Ms. Plus-Size, but I would see her around campus every once in a while. By this time Mr. Micro-Peen had an even stronger hold on me and made sure that I did not socialize with any friends connected to Ms. Plus-Size. Again none of this felt right, and I developed a plan to leave him a few days after getting back with him. See, the problem with Mr. Micro-Peen was not so much that he had a micro-peen but that he was dishonest, controlling and had a double standard, and that was not going to fly with me.
I finished my freshmen year, left strict instructions to my family to not pass my whereabouts to this individual, left and never looked back.